The Poison Tour Diary via Metal Sludge
 August 9, 2000 / 168 reads / No comments yet

Dear Sludge Diary,
Here is the diary I had slated for last week. With all the home, LA shows and all, I fell behind. I'm sorry! Anyway, there will be another diary outlining the west coast run in a few days. Here is last weeks diary...
There were some righteous Sludge chicks the other night and they made and brought us all Sludge/Poison teddy bears. How fuckin' cool is that? The one chick said that I "Whatevered her" once upon a time, but was willing to forgive me if I was cool this time around. I guess I made up for it, and the dear soul hooked us up with some jammin' teddies! Here's a pic!
~ Moving on... "When there is no more room in hell, the damned shall roam Dallas!" Enter "Cuntswaylow" a petite 5'1" chick from South America who literally grabbed me by the collar at the Go-Go's show the other night and went "Puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" in my ear louder than a bobcat in heat. This is good, don't get me wrong. Problem is, she is nuts. Literally a looney. She starts telling me that I better fuck her now while I can because the next time I see those titties they will be in Playboy and she'll be famous and I can't have access to them anymore. Huh? I really didn't even have any idea how to answer back to that except to say, "O.K.!" "Cuntswaylow" is a succulent little hard-bodied conchita with an angel face. I dig that, who doesn't? I figure by now that the B-52's are gone and I can use their dressing room to "Roam if I want to." with Cuntswaylow. After all, I have a lammie courtesy of Gina Shock and I damn well own the place too! Now don't go thinkin' I'm a slut here. I'm just doin' what any yank would do when confronted with this situation. I figure it this way, she's a hottie and I haven't exactly had the sweetest gals come visit me on this tour. Funny thing is, she has no idea who I am. I say, "Pretend I'm Ricky Martin and let's Live A Little La Vida Loca." (Hows that for a stupid line?) She goes, "Oh, please, he is so over. I like American guys better!" Newsflash: Seems American girls like latin guys and latin girls like American guys. Maybe I should move down there? Guys, have you ever watched the Spanish channels? There is some off the hook ladies down there! Don't get me wrong here. Do I like good 'ol fashioned American chicks? Of course I do, but hey, this is a nice change.
~Anyway, back to the story. So we go over to the dressing room and Big John says, " It's all yours, I'll be back later, bro. Don't do any thing I wouldn't do!" Thanks John, I never would have thought of that particle of wisdom on my own. So I sez to Cuntswaylow, "Can I see that fine little hiney of yours?" Boom, down went her 'lil stretch pants exposing a black dental floss style thong. She was sweaty and her brown butt actually shined in the dimly lit dressing room light. I moved foward toward the perfectly carved south of the border ass. I'm thinking how slammin' it would be to take her from the rear, but at the same time, I'm thinkin', with that little frame, I might rather go from the front and see her tiny stomach rise and fall with each stroke. What the hell, why not do both! I'm salivating by now and any sense of decency has gone south of the border too. All of the sudden, braaaap!!! "Opps!, she says. Must have been the tacos!" This isn't happening! I think to my self. Again... Rip! Rip Braap!!! Three in a row! That cute 'lil ass is just blowing my hair dry with conchita farts! "Please wait for a moment." she says and starts to waddle off to the bathroom while her pants are half down. This is going from erotic, to funny to pathetic very, very fast. She doesn't even bother to close the door! I swear it sounded like C.C. was in there predicting the wheather with a shit blizzard with her. Little ohhs and ahhs are emanating from the stall all the while it sounds like she is dumping a bucket of watered down crackers into the john. By now my steroid like hard on has become a piece of felt. Should I look in the stall? I mean the door is wide open. Well, I'm a sick fuck and you know it, so yeah, I'll look. "You O.K. there sweetie?" I say as I peer around the doorway. She gets up from the toilet and slams the door in my face and saying somethin' in Spanish. She looks green in the face by now and I can't think of a good way to say it, but the room just fuckin' reeked!
~ Then, some security guy opens the door and says, "Let's go Rikki, we all want to go home. You'll be here later this week and you can do what ever ya want, but tonight, it's the Go-Go's show." O.K., I say, but someone better take care of this chick in the bathroom" Rikki!, he says, "You can do whoever ya want whenever ya want in the bathroom, the night of your show. O.K.? Now let's go! I'm tired!" I say, "Look you don't understand, this chick is sick. Somethin' is wr...." I get cut off. "I'm sure she's a hot one, but play rock star Friday night when it's a Poison show. Let's go NOW!" he barks. "O.K., I say, but she's shittin' and I think s...." "You are a sick fuck Rikki!, the security guy sez, I don't need that much information. Whatever, man! You rock guys are fucked up!" I leave...
~ Big John meets me at the rear gate. "Now how was that Bro? She was a cutie, huh? He asks. I heard you pulled a C.C. the wheather man on her. Ha, Ha, Ha!" No, John, she got sick or something, and..." Whatever, Rikki. I just got laid by this incredible Hooters girl in the Phychedelic Furs dressing room. You shoulda been there, man! She treated me sooo nice. Gave me a back rub too!" She had a beautiful friend who was super into you too. Would have loved to have met you. But hey, you were busy. By the way Rikki, John continues, we better split 'cause it's a good thing you pulled out when you did. That chick you were with is the Head security's fiance' and he is piiiissssed!" "Yeah, Johnnny, we better split. Where is the limo?" "Uhhh, uhh, John stutters his answer, he left. We'll just catch a cab brother. Oh, by the way, Gina Shock said to tell you goodbye... Forever! She thinks you are a sick fuck. It's all good though, she'll get over it. Besides, it's been a great night hasn't it, Rikki? "Yeah, John, it sure has"...

Rikki Rockett
Sex, Drums and Cock-In-Hole!

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